Thursday, July 22, 2010

Practice Makes Perfect? (Part Two)

In my last post, I described the way our church’s coordinator assured me that even though the priest skipped out on the rehearsal, he knew what to do, and would closely follow the outline she created. Well, guess what? He didn’t. At the end of our ceremony, the priest skipped entirely over the Irish wedding blessing my sister was supposed to read, prompting the musician to instead start the recessional song.

And since Kellie had been poised to head to the podium, she was unable to hand me my bouquet as I made my exit. Plus, instead of introducing us by our names, as we’d requested, he introduced us as just “the newest couple in the world.” The hurried rehearsal also left the wedding party a bit confused, and they forgot to stand beside us as we said our vows.

After the ceremony, our guests kept raving about what a beautiful ceremony we’d just had. And I agreed with them wholeheartedly. The mishaps went over the heads of everyone but us, and definitely weren’t serious. The church’s director? She even came up to me and said, “Everything went perfectly!” In the moment, I was way too happy and excited to correct her.

But looking back, I can’t help but feel disappointed that the wedding blessing I’d been so enthusiastic about, which honored our shared heritage, wasn’t part of the ceremony, and that my sister didn’t get to participate as a reader.

Practice makes perfect? I guess, but only if the practice is done perfectly, or at least done well.

LESSON LEARNED: If at all possible, insist that everyone with a part in your ceremony, however large or small their roles may be, comes to the rehearsal. This includes the officiant and musicians, who were absent at ours. If you can, also ask the coordinator to lead you through a practice run of the entire ceremony itself, rather than just the processional or just the readings. This will help prevent a lot of confusion at the worst possible moments. And what if things still go wrong? Just smile and roll with it. At that point, there’s nothing that can be done, and trust me, you will be far too happy to care, at least at the time!

What special readings or personalized elements will you add to the ceremony?

(Photo Credits: Alex Neumann Photography)


  1. Oh sad! You can see if you can have a wedding photo blown up and add the blessing to the photo (kinda like what Geezees does:

    Although we had our officiant at the ceremony I think what helped more than not is being able to talk to her multiple times up to the wedding. We had my dad's cousin officiate and we wrote our own ceremony so there was a lot of communication and it made everything work out perfectly. Communication is key :)

  2. So sorry to hear it didn't go exactly like you imagined! I'm sure it was still beautiful!

  3. That is sad.
    I would be very disappointed too if important and special details were missed. But as you said, there is nothing that can be done...just smile. Most of the times, the guests wont even notice :-).

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  4. =(
    That sucks. It's good that you didn't dwell on it after the ceremony....could have put a damper on the rest of the day. I'd have been super bummed too....and probably a bit angry. But like you said....nobody noticed, and in the eyes of all the spectators, everything went perfectly. I always think (to make myself feel better) "it could always be worse". =l

  5. Ok, those mistakes were unacceptable. Though as you said, the guests never know what was missed, having a special reading by your sister overlooked would have royally pissed me off!! Was there any chance it could have been read by her at your reception before dinner was served perhaps? That's what I would have done...but like you said, you're so caught up in the moment you don't think clearly to deal with things.

    I have already shared the same lessons - to be sure that *everyone* is there and that you run through the entire thing...not word for word, but at least go over what will be happening and where everyone should be and be doing.

    So frustrating that you had the same experience I did. Thankfully, I didn't have things done wrong like not introducing us correctly with our names...what a moron! I mean I know he's a priest...but the 'newest couple in the world'??? Who does that? Did he forget your names?!? I'm so sorry.

  6. I'm sorry this happened, but it sounds like your ceremony was beautiful! I would be upset, too, if one of my blessings was left out, and if the priest forgot to say our names! We are doing everything we can to have both our musicians, both officiants and everyone involved in the wedding at our rehearsal. We set the rehearsal for 5:00 the Friday before our wedding, so I'm hoping that everyone will make it on time :)

  7. I'm sorry things didn't go as planned! It really is unacceptable that the priest messed up so much but it's good that nobody else noticed and it was beautiful overall. We're having a friend officiate so we'll be able to go through the ceremony before the actual rehearsal, and our coordinator is helping us rehearse. I hope everything goes smoothly!

  8. Thanks for all of your thoughts and sugestions, ladies. I've been considering sending an email to the church coordinator to share how I feel, but have been holding off, because part of me originally just wanted to move on from this. But since it's still bugging me, I think I owe it to myself to be assertive and let them know that what they did was not acceptable, especially given the amount of money we paid them. And maybe I can save another bride the heartache in the future.

    Mrs. Beever, I did consider having her read the blessing before her toast, but she pointed out that it wouldn't fit with the humerous tone she was planning. Then we did think about having her read it before dinner, but in the end, I just didn't get the message to our planner and DJ in time. Oddly, it bothers me so much more now than it did that day. I guess I was just having so much fun that nothing could bring me down!

  9. that's great that even though you noticed the mishap, you just let it go because you were so happy. we had a bunch of little things go wrong, but on that day, we didn't seem to care at all. good advice on the rehearsal though.

  10. I hate when things go wrong with weddings - the disappointment is the worst.