Monday, December 21, 2009

He Said, She Said: The Garter Toss

To switch things up a bit today, Stephen and I decided to take turns sounding off about the reception classic that is the garter toss. Here’s what we both had to say.

Groom’s View by Stephen

To some, the garter toss may seem like a long-standing tradition, but it was never done at any of the weddings I went to as a kid. Because of that, the ritual doesn’t have the same significance for me as it does for others. The one time I did see a toss, the garter removal was done in such an over-the-top fashion that it seemed more like a burlesque show than part of a wedding celebration.

The worst part was that when it came to the actual toss, the half-dozen guys made hardly any effort to catch the garter, and were completely disinterested. Compared with the jostling and general excitement during the bouquet toss, the garter toss came across as being awkward and devoid of any enjoyment.

I’m not completely opposed to having a garter toss at our wedding, but I’m also not going to do it simply for the sake of tradition. It needs to mesh with the overall feel of our celebration, and if that can’t be done, well, then it isn’t worth doing.

Bride’s View by Heather

Having seen enough garter tosses where the groom (in many cases after enjoying the open bar just a bit too much) got completely carried away, I’ve gone back and forth about whether we should include this ritual as part of our wedding reception.

On one hand, the garter toss sounds like a fun tradition I would hate to miss out on. Plus, I know that Stephen is definitely not the type of groom to carry things too far. But, that said, I’m afraid that if we do include it, everyone will expect us to go all-out in a way I’m not comfortable with, especially in front of our families, former professors, and a couple teenage guests.

To keep things sweet and only a little sassy, I envision us playing a cute song, maybe the Beatles’ “All You Need Is Love,” which is one of our favorites, while Stephen kneels down, kisses my hand, and removes the garter with his fingers, not teeth. After that, he can perform the traditional toss of the belt to all the eligible guys at the party, who, with the right build-up from the DJ, will hopefully show some enthusiasm. It’s classy yet simple, and would still let us include the toss as part of our celebration.

Well, those are our thoughts, ladies. What are yours? Do you think we should be more willing to “let loose” during the garter toss, or do you like what I have in mind as a compromise?

10 comments:

  1. I like your compromise, and since he isn't completely opposed to it, it sounds like you guys will make it work!

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  2. I'm on the fence about the garter toss as well. My fiance is such a ham and will take the opportunity to make it a real show! Its good that you and your fiance are discussing these things. Good luck on your decision.

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  3. I'm not a fan of the garter toss...but maybe that's because I don't have a lot of eligible persons attend the wedding...so the tradition of throwing the bouquet and garter wouldn't be necessary. I think your plan sounds like a great compromise though!

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  4. great compromise and your guy is so laid back! my guy is literally, the LAST single guy among his closest friends and i don't want to put my single friends or their partners on the spot, thus no garter or bouquet toss for us.

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  5. I really like your idea to keep it classy and laid back! Ryan says he has something "hilarious" planned and that I don't need to worry about the details...but I trust the guy, he won't embarrass me! (too much, at least)

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  6. i'm probably nixing the garter toss, but i think if you do it your way - classy and laid back to a beatles song - it could be really fun. i like how you have your fiance's point of view in here too. really cool. also, i just saw my blog in your blogroll and you made my day! thanks, i'll be sure to add bicoastal bride to mine now too!

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  7. Its great that you're understanding about how each views it and its nice to get the male perspective too :) We are till trying to figure this out although I think it will be fun to have.

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  8. I've only seen it done at one wedding. The guys got pretty into it and it wasn't too over the top. I think whatever your comfortable with.

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  9. I think that the garter & bouquet toss can be fun & playful so we are definitely doing them at our wedding. I love how your fiance added his point of view on the whole idea too. So sweet. :)

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  10. We are planning to do the garter toss, but your fiance brings up a good point - if the guys aren't into it, it can backfire. I'm not worried about this with the bouquet toss at all - I'm the first one of my friends to get married, so there'll be lots of excited single girls - but haven't thought about how the guys will take to catching the garter.

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