Monday, November 29, 2010

A Holiday Hang-Up: Your Family Or Mine?

Before the holidays roll around each year, married couples everywhere face that dreaded age-old question – your family’s house or mine?

For Stephen and I, the fact that our families live across the country in California, in entirely different parts of the state for that matter, meant we were right there with everyone else in trying to decide just how to handle this situation. After a couple months of thinking it over, we finally decided that, this year especially, flying to California for both Thanksgiving and Christmas would simply be too expensive. Plus, given Stephen’s work schedule and all of the uncertainties surrounding my job situation, spending a few days with each family during December wouldn't be practical, either.


Our solution? I’ll head home to spend Christmas with my family, while Stephen will stay here in D.C., working and celebrating with his sister and a few friends in the area. Though some people have simply stared at me in shock upon hearing this news, the truth is, Stephen and I see one another every day, and the simple fact that we’ll be apart on Christmas does not faze us.

Also, since I only see my family once or twice a year at most, while Stephen’s family is more frequently able to travel to D.C., the decision makes even more sense for us. Will it still work out this way once we have small kids? Probably not. But hopefully by that time, we’ll be living closer to our families anyway, and more easily able to see them both more often. But for now, we’re grateful for understanding families that support us in our decision, and also that we’re able to celebrate “Christmas” here together each and every day of our lives.


Have you and your husband or fiance faced the “holiday split” issue? How have you decided to handle things this year?

(Photo Credits: Alex Neumann Photography)  

10 comments:

  1. We'll be with his extended family in Manila simply because NYC is too far! I'd love to see my parents but alas it'll have to wait.

    You're right, couples see each other day but hardly see their families. We gotta do what we gotta do with our time and still appreciate all of our loved ones!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think I have it great. My family lives about 20minutes and my hubby's live about 5 minutes away. We spend Christmas Eve with my family and Christmas Day with his :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ahh, yes. I was waiting for this post. Good for you for finding a solution that works. I wouldn't think twice of a married couple spending the holidays apart, since I even suggested that we do the same. My husband wasn't having it, though, and since our families both live in the Bay Area, seeing both of them is doable with (a lot) of driving. I can't wait until we have a bigger place and we can make everyone come to us!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Starting last year we decided to flip-flop Thanksgiving and Christmas between our two families. Last year it was Thanksgiving with his and Christmas with mine and this year is Thanksgiving with mine and Christmas with his. I didn't mind too much last year, because Thanksgiving isn't that big of a deal to me. So it will probably be harder for me this year as it will be my first Christmas away from my family.

    ReplyDelete
  5. we are really lucky. Our families only live about 30 mins from each other so we can see both sides during the holidays

    ReplyDelete
  6. the holiday split is such a difficult one. we alternate every year, and every year it is hard for one family.

    ReplyDelete
  7. What an awesome idea. We refuse to be parted so we'll be doing 4 Christmas dinners at four houses!

    Kill us.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Isn't it funny how people look at you like you have two heads when you don't spend the holidays together? We've gotten that for years! But this year, I'll be flying up to see his parents on Christmas morning. It will be the first Christmas day we've ever spent together, and seems fair, because we just spent Thanksgiving with my family.

    ReplyDelete
  9. We do one family for Christmas, one family for Thanksgiving. We're in the same boat as you are as our families live on opposite coasts. Christmas isn't really a big deal to my family so we usually spend it with his. My dad's attitude is great...he just wants to see us at some point. If our visit doesn't happen to correspond with an "official holiday," it doesn't really matter to him.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Good for you for finding the compromise that works for you - if only the rest of the world tried so hard!

    ReplyDelete