Friday, January 29, 2010

The Bride: A Singular Sensation?

My desire for my parents to walk me down the aisle has never had anything to do with my wanting them to “give me away” or “hand me off.” As an independent woman, I have lived on my own, supporting myself financially, for years. My decision to marry Stephen is also mine alone, and I would have actually found it very odd if he had gone to either of my parents to request “permission” before proposing to me.

Having said that, it’s also true that I wouldn’t be who I am or where I am today without my parents’ support. Throughout my relationship with Stephen, my mom has always lent a willing ear and shared many caring thoughts, and in that way, she has played a direct role in our relationship. Asking my mom and dad to walk me down the aisle gives me an opportunity to honor them for having stood beside me, supporting me in good and bad times, throughout my life.

That’s why, for the most part, there has never been any question in my mind about having them by my side as I make the walk. A couple times, however, I have played over a few other scenarios in my mind. For example, the Catholic Church actually prefers that the bride and groom enter together, as a symbol of their partnership both before and after marriage. This has made me consider waking halfway down the aisle alone, with Stephen meeting me for the rest of the walk.

I do also love the symbolism of an independent bride confidently making her way toward the future she has chosen, with the focus of everyone, including her parents, on her. At the same time, I absolutely adore the symbolism of a bride who loves and acknowledges her parents for all they have given so that she could achieve her dreams and build the life of her choosing.

What do you think, and how do you plan to make the walk? Would you ever consider coming down the aisle by yourself?

(Photo Credits: Los Robles Greens & j.t.lowery)


  1. I agree with you. My parents aren't giving me away, but I am having them both walk me down the aisle. They have supported me through so much that I can't picture it any other way. Once I get to my Groom, our officiant will say

    Who presents this woman and this man to be married to each other?
    (we do)

    I felt it was important to include the Groom's family as well.

  2. My father passed away a few years ago, so I asked my mom to walk me down the aisle. She said "no" because she hates being the center of attention. So I asked my brother. I think it's going to be really special.

    Both the mother and father of the bride have walked the bride down the aisle at the weddings I attended last year - I think it's such a nice touch!

  3. Both my parents are walking me down the aisle, for the same reasons as Amanda. I think it'll be a nice moment, especially since I'm an only child, to have them there by my side as I walk down!

  4. I agree with the ladies and am having both parents accompany me to the door of the church (from there its Mr. Milk and I). For me its a way to honor them and show them appreciation for all they have done!

  5. Oooh interesting question... I had thought about this... My Dad is quite a modern Dad (he's still in his 40s) and I didn't think he was fussed about all this kind of thing. But since we got engaged, he kept making jokes about not having had his permission asked! So I think secretly he prob wants to do the whole give me away thing... which in some ways feels a bit silly as me and the OH have been together for years, live together and own two cats (so I'm kind of away already!) ;)

  6. My Dad walked me down the aisle - it was wonderful. I had considered both my parents, but in the end went for tradition. Although I think both would have been lovely choices.

  7. I love how you worded's not about them 'giving you away' but about honoring them as having raised you and sticking by your side. Such a great perspective. I have seen it done all ways. For me, Dad will walk me down the aisle to give me away in the traditional sense. Plus, I would probably pass out if I didn't have someone's arm to hold me up :)