Alcohol & Weddings: How Much Is Too Much?

We’ve all seen it happen at least once or twice. A bride or groom who’s had a little (or a lot) too much manages to act like a complete fool at the wedding. Or, just as bad, he or she spends the entire reception sick in the bathroom.

Going into our day, I in no way wanted to be remembered as “that” bride by our families and friends. Making a fool of myself in front of my new in-laws and relatives would have been entirely mortifying, not to mention very out of character. Plus, after pouring so much time and money into the wedding, I planned to be as “in the moment” as possible, clearly remembering and taking in everything that was going on without feeling dazed or tired.

In other words, there was no way I was going to let alcohol spoil my good time or anyone else’s. And so, there was no champagne flowing during the “getting ready” phase of our day, and I’d also been very careful to limit myself during the rehearsal dinner the night before. During the reception, I enjoyed a few sips each of wine, sangria and champagne, mostly because my stomach just wasn’t in the mood, but also because I had already decided I’d keep it to no more than two glasses total, which is a comfortable limit for me.

Looking back, our wedding was the most fun and memorable day of my life, and I’m so glad I didn’t ruin it by getting carried away. Drunkenness, by me or anyone else, had no place at our celebration.

LESSON LEARNED: If there’s ever a time to know and respect your limits, it’s during your wedding. Yes, you’re not driving, and yes, you’re having the time of your life. But do you really want the big story everyone most remembers from the day to be that of the inebriated bride? Do you really want your new relatives' earliest memories of you to involve drunkenness? Don’t embarrass yourself, your husband, your parents and grandparents, or anyone else. Enjoy one or two drinks, or however many you know you can easily handle, and then save the rest for the honeymoon. I guarantee you won’t regret it.

What are your thoughts about drinking at a wedding? Do you plan to limit how much you have?

(Photo Credits: Personal Library & Alex Neumann Photography)

When The Happiest Time Of Your Life Is A Friend’s Saddest

Even today, I can still remember the feeling so clearly. The day I got engaged, the first thing I wanted to do was rush out and share the great news with family, friends, and the world! The ring was glistening, the planning was about to begin, and the joy I felt was bubbling out to everyone around me.

But as we all know, the world doesn’t automatically stop turning just because we might become engaged or get married. What about your close friend who recently went through a bad breakup or lost someone? What about your relative who is in the midst of an ugly divorce or facing unemployment? Is it still OK to share your excitement? Should you hold off on asking someone to be a bridesmaid or help you choose a dress? Luckily, I didn’t face issues like these right at the outset, though I definitely know plenty of brides who have. And as with so many of life’s issues, these are extremely tough scenarios for which there are no easy answers.

When Stephen’s grandmother passed away just a couple months before our wedding and the day before my bachelorette party, I felt devestated, wanting to call the next day's plans off entirely. And even after Stephen urged us to go ahead with the party, insisting that it’s what she would have wanted, I still felt absolutely heartbroken for he and his family members, who put so much love and thought into our wedding day both before and after this tragedy.

Since every situation is different and has to be considered based upon its own unique circumstances, I believe that scenarios like these are when communication and compassion take on the utmost importance. Don’t purposely neglect sharing your news with someone, since this may only add to the person’s hurt, but be sure to handle the situation in a sensitive way.

Perhaps you can tell your friend that you’d be honored for her to be a bridesmaid, but understand if she’s unable to due to her sadness over a recent breakup. Perhaps you might offer to cover costs for a groomsman who’s lost his job, or avoid talking about the wedding when you’re out to dinner with a recently divorced cousin. Though you may not be able to change someone’s circumstances, love and respect are always valued, and will always be appreciated, no matter what the circumstances.

Have you faced a situation like any of those mentioned above? How did you decide to handle it?

(Photo Credit: Alex Neumann Photography)

Failures In Bouquet Preservation

I’ve shared how much I loved my bridal bouquet, but I didn’t yet share the fact that this very bouquet led to one huge post-wedding disappointment. You see, my bouquet wilted and died before I had a chance to preserve it.

Looking back, I know this was entirely my fault. Sure, I’d read and heard all about bouquet preservation before the wedding, and I thought it sounded like a great idea for those brides who were interested. But as for me? I wasn’t interested, and didn’t see the necessity in shelling out the money. Or so I thought.

The truth is, from the moment I saw my bouquet, I knew I was going to have a major problem on my hands. Though I’d known it would be beautiful, this bouquet was BEAUTIFUL! There was no way I wanted to miss out on the chance to preserve it.

Since I  left for Hawaii the very morning following the wedding, my selfless mom spent time researching and dialing numbers, trying to find someone who could preserve my bouquet before it was too late. But, try as she might, the bouquet’s white roses browned and the entire thing sadly shriveled sooner than she was able to find anyone available who could come through for us.

And so, in the end, my bouquet lives on today only in our photos and video footage, where I love seeing it every time. It was gorgeous, even if it only enjoyed just one amazing day in the sun.

LESSON LEARNED: If you think there’s even a slight chance that you’ll want to preserve your bouquet, or even if you don’t, it never hurts to do a little research before the wedding day rolls around. Otherwise, you just might find yourself out of time and out of luck, the way I did. Plus, if you plan to do a bouquet toss, be sure your florist prepares a special “toss bouquet,” which is usually offered free of charge, so that you don’t have to give yours away.

(Photo Credits: Alex Neumann Photography) 

Down The Aisle: A Bride's Most Surreal Moment

Walking down the aisle was by far my most emotional and surreal part of the entire wedding day. Not usually accustomed to being in front of a crowd, I’ll admit I was a bit jittery, while at the same time, I truly struggled not to dissolve into tears.

Plus, since the wedding party’s processional started while I was still in the restroom, which caused me to rush a bit, things became even more of a blur than they would have been otherwise. But that’s what photos and video footage are for, right?

I just love these shots, which at once capture all of the joy and emotion I felt as I left the bride’s room, rounded the corner, joined my parents at the foot of the aisle, and finally saw Stephen, plus all of our friends and family members, waiting especially for me.

Our bird's-eye video clip also allows me to see everything from a different perspective, plus hear my entire Sound of Music processional, which I can't clearly remember. And yes, it even catches my dad accidentally stepping on my gown at the very end, right after I said "I love you" to both he and my mom. Lucikly, it didn't tear!

LESSON LEARNED: Though it will surely be hard, try to consciously take in every moment of your walk down the aisle. My memories are hazy, but there are things I can definitely recall, such as seeing Stephen, as well as the smiling faces of our guests. This much-anticipated moment will likely fill you with an entire flood of emotions, and will be over in just a few quick flashes of the camera.

What was your walk down the aisle like, or what are your plans for this special moment?

(Photo Credits: Alex Neumann Photography; Video Credit: Max MacIver Videography) 

Down The Aisle: It’s (Wedding) Party Time

I’ve said it once and I’ll say a million times over. Our wedding party really came through for us on the wedding day, as they have in standing by us our entire lives. Though most of them are not Catholic and received only cursory instructions during the rehearsal, on the whole, they did a fabulous job remembering just what to do throughout the ceremony, including during the processional.

Since we took the unconventional step of having Stephen walk down the aisle escorted by his parents, followed by his best man, the start of our processional was a bit different than what you might be familiar with during a typical Christian ceremony. It's also different from the newly updated Catholic processional, where the bride and groom walk down the aisle together.

Check out our video clip, which was primarily shot from the church’s balcony. If my sister, the last one down the aisle, seems to be rushing a bit, it’s because the processional started while she and I were still in the restroom, making us both feel a bit rushed!





What will your processional be like?

(Photo Credits: Alex Neumann Photography; Video Credit: Max MacIver Videography)