My Husband, The Rocket Scientist Groom

Happy Friday, everyone! It’s been another busy week around here, but definitely a good one. The radio show on Wednesday night went really well, and our wedding coordination project is moving right along. This weekend, I’ll be covering the Mid-Atlantic Green Wedding Showcase for Weddzilla, while also gearing up for my next round of class presentations and papers that kicks in next week.

Of course, there's no way I could be doing all that I am without Stephen's support, and that's why I'm especially excited that my aerospace engineer husband, aka The Rocket Scientist Groom, is now writing for Weddzilla each Monday. There, he's sharing his perspective as a newlywed groom. This past Monday, he offered a groom’s guide to wedding flowers, explaining why he thinks guys should care and how they can get started. Before that, he also shared his helpful yet tounge-in-cheek advice for how grooms can survive a bridal expo.



Feel free to check out his posts and leave him a comment letting him know what you think. Know of any other grooms who like to write? Be sure to send them my way!

Does your spouse or significant other ever get involved with your career or hobbies?

(Photo Credit: Alex Neumann Photography)

For His Cold Feet...

Today, Stephen reveals how I went beyond our budget to offer a little wedding day surprise for the groom.

Socks aren't usually all that special to me. Typically, I just pick a pair that goes with my shoes, and then don't even give them a second thought. On my wedding day, however, I wore socks that were very special.

While working out our wedding budget, Heather and I agreed that we wouldn't get each other gifts. After all, there were so many other nice things we were spending money on, and we both felt that the wedding itself was the best gift imaginable.

But then, the night before the wedding, Heather handed me a little gift box. She said although we had agreed not to exchange gifts, she couldn't resist getting this one small item for me. I had no clue what it was, but she said I needed to open it before the wedding.

So, the next morning, I opened the box and inside found a pair of black and purple arglye socks, along with a note that said, "In case you get cold feet." It was a fun and thoughtful gift that, although very inexpensive,  reminded me throughout the day that I was marrying a truly caring and wonderful person.



Have you heard about the "cold feet" trend? Will you and your groom exchange wedding gifts?

(Photo Credits: Alex Neumann Photography, Heather Walrath & Damien Smith Photography)

A Groom's View: The Bachelor Party Tell-All

Wild night of debauchery or low-key guys' night in? My husband reveals his preference in this bachelor party recap!

I wanted my bachelor party to be fun but not too wild. Mostly, I wanted to enjoy having my friends from high school and college all together for the first time. But since everyone lives in different parts of the country, we couldn't organize anything until the two nights right before the wedding, when everyone got to town.

The first night, my friends from high school were the only ones already there, and we spent the evening playing silly card games that I hadn't played since homeroom and lunch period 10 years ago. If only I'd had a N64 and a copy of GoldenEye, it would've been perfect.The second night, I had nearly all of the groomsmen together. We were all staying at the same hotel, so we were able to spend the night joking around while "The Hangover " played in the background.



The thought of actually going to Las Vegas crossed my mind, but in the end, that's just not my style and there was no time. I guess the real point of my bachelor party was not the location or having some crazy event, but the simple joy of catching up with friends.

LESSONS LEARNED (BY HEATHER): Yup, I'm hijacking my hubby's post to throw in a couple extra nuggets of wisdom that he was afraid forgot to include. Hey, it is my blog after all! Anyway, if at all possible, do not hold a bachelor party, or bachelorette party for that matter, the night before the wedding. What starts out as a low-key get-together can quickly spiral into chaos, especially when alcohol is part of the picture. (And yes, guys, I know there was more than enough flowing!) I'm just lucky my husband and his friends were able to get it together before showtime the next day, though I've heard plenty of stories about those who weren't as fortunate.

What type of bachelor party does your fiance plan to have, and how far in advance will it be held?

(Photo Credit: Alex Neumann Photography)

The First Look: A Groom's Reflections & Video Recap

I've already shared my thoughts about our "first look" at Gardens of the World, but what does the groom have to say? Here's the story from my husband's perspective, along with a short video clip capturing that special moment, along with the rest of our pre-wedding photo shoot.

Though we initially went back and forth about whether to do a first look, this moment ended up being truly special and a lot of fun. My preconception was that I shouldn't see Heather in her gown until she came down the aisle at the ceremony. However, as Heather explained more about what the first look entailed, I warmed up to the idea.

In the months leading up to the wedding, I took great pains to avoid learning any details about Heather's dress. If I was using the digital camera, I couldn't look through the saved photos. If there was a phone conversation regarding the dress, I had to make sure I was in a different room. Most difficult of all, I had to carry the dress through the Chicago-O'Hare airport and try not to backlight the opaque garmet bag or pick out any details. (Although I did quickly learn that the dress was REALLY heavy). Even though it made life a bit more complicated, I'm glad the details were unknown to me, because it made the first look very exciting.

The setup our photographer devised was really simple. I stood in the entranceway at Gardens of the World with my back facing the direction from which Heather would come. As soon as I was in place, I realized that I was facing a glass door through which I could not only see my groomsmen waiting inside, but also the reflection of anyone coming up behind me! I quickly averted my eyes so that I wouldn't spoil the first look.

The funny thing is that when Heather did come up and lightly tap me on the shoulder, I turned around, and the first thing that blew me away was just seeing her face. Don't get me wrong, the dress was fantastic, but that split second of recognition and joy to see her meant everything. Only after that first embrace did I truly notice the dress. At that point, I was especially glad I hadn't seen the it ahead of time, because it made for such an awesome surprise.

Would I have had the same reaction if we'd waited until the ceremony to see each other? I would like to think so, but it definitely would've been different standing in a large church surrounded by a crowd of people. Personally, I think the first look before the ceremony allowed for a more intimate and personal way to see each other. I really enjoyed it and would definitely recommend it to other couples.



What are your fiance's thoughts about doing a first look? Do his views differ from yours?

(Photo Credit: Alex Neumann Photography; Video Credit: Max MacIver Videography) 

Gifting The Groomsmen

Today, my husband shares his unconventional gift choice for our groomsmen, plus the reasoning behind it. Enjoy!

When it came to choosing gifts for my groomsmen, I wanted to go for something unique that also had some semblance of practicality. Of course, the quintessential gift for groomsmen is a classic set of cufflinks.

There are many great varieties available to match the guys’ tastes and impart some of the groom’s personality at the same time. At one end of the spectrum are cufflinks molded from gold and silver, which can truly be considered jewelry. At the other are fun and quirky picks that may not be crafted from precious metals, but feature the insignias of colleges or sports teams that have special significance to the groom and his friends. Of course, there are also cufflinks that span the entire spectrum, being at once stunning and fun, such as the ThinkGeek set below, which features photomicrographs of caffeine molecules.

However, unless your groomsmen are 007, cufflinks are often doomed to sit unused in a drawer full of socks. So, instead, I opted for a gift that would hopefully be more useful, if not a bit out-of-the-ordinary – lock-picking sets. Though this may sound like an unusual choice of gift, these kits are actually very handy should you ever lose a key or face a broken door lock in your home. Also, for those who enjoy solving hands-on puzzles such as Rubix cubes, lock-picking can be quite the challenge.

In the end, no matter what gift you may choose, try to pick something that reflects who you are. In my case, I’m an engineer who loves puzzles and the joy of solving them, as do the rest of the guys I chose to have at my side throughout the wedding.

What's your fiance's style when it comes to gifting the guys?

(Photo Credits: ThinkGeek & SouthOrd)

Down The Aisle: It’s (Wedding) Party Time

I’ve said it once and I’ll say a million times over. Our wedding party really came through for us on the wedding day, as they have in standing by us our entire lives. Though most of them are not Catholic and received only cursory instructions during the rehearsal, on the whole, they did a fabulous job remembering just what to do throughout the ceremony, including during the processional.

Since we took the unconventional step of having Stephen walk down the aisle escorted by his parents, followed by his best man, the start of our processional was a bit different than what you might be familiar with during a typical Christian ceremony. It's also different from the newly updated Catholic processional, where the bride and groom walk down the aisle together.

Check out our video clip, which was primarily shot from the church’s balcony. If my sister, the last one down the aisle, seems to be rushing a bit, it’s because the processional started while she and I were still in the restroom, making us both feel a bit rushed!





What will your processional be like?

(Photo Credits: Alex Neumann Photography; Video Credit: Max MacIver Videography)

The Man I Married

The man I married is my best friend and partner in all things – the silly, the serious, the life-changing, and the mundane. He is gentle, sincere, thoughtful and genuine, and he looked so handsome and happy on our wedding day.

Some people think that wedding day portraits are all about the bride, but I disagree. Stephen looked amazing, and he did it without a $200 makeup application or a $1,000 gown.

LESSON LEARNED: A good photographer will be sure to capture a few great portrait shots of the groom, but if he or she seems to be forgetting, or if you’d like more, be sure to speak up. After all, it’s your husband’s day, too!

Do you have any favorite wedding day or engagement shots of your guy?

(Photo Credits: Alex Neumann Photography)

The Groom’s Cake: Wacky, Wild & Witty

A few months ago, I thought about surprising Stephen with a groom’s cake at the wedding or rehearsal dinner. But, with our budget already increasing and our regular cake sure to leave everyone beyond stuffed, I decided this was one thing we should probably skip.

Of course, that hasn’t stopped me from imagining what design I would choose if we were having a cake like this. After all, a girl can dream, right? And maybe it can be blamed on a little too much pre-wedding excitement, but I’m now thinking of throwing this into the mix as a last-minute splurge.

Since Stephen is an aerospace engineer and a huge fan of all things science-fiction, I’ve quickly discovered that the sky is indeed the limit, with tons of options for cakes featuring rockets, planes, Star Wars characters, and plenty of other fun motifs.

Here, a few wacky cakes that would surely make my future husband smile and laugh!

Are you doing a groom’s cake? If so, what theme are you planning to go with? Do you think I should order one ASAP, or just let it slide?

(Photo Credits: Google Images)

No Cold Feet Here!

As our wedding approaches, being nervous is honestly the farthest thing from our minds. Maybe we’ll feel a bit of nervous energy start to kick in the week of the wedding, but for now, we’re focused on the excitement of perfecting our day by putting the finishing touches on all of our projects and plans.

But, even though I know he would never be struck with a genuine case of cold feet, I’ll be bringing in backup by gifting Stephen with a special pair of argyle socks the night of the rehearsal. In doing this, I admit I’m breaking the rules a little. After all, Stephen and I agreed not to give each other gifts.

Even so, when I heard about the idea of “cold feet” socks from Born to be Mrs. Beever over at Thoughts of the All Consumed Bride, I simply couldn’t help myself, especially after I saw the cute Tie That Binds labels to wrap around them!

Like the idea, but don’t want to spend $7.50 on the label? You can easily print your own or just write him a message in a card, instead.

Now, I just have to keep this a secret until the wedding… And luckily, there’s not a very long time left to wait!

Are you giving your groom a gift? How nervous do you think you’ll be on the wedding day?

(Photo Credits: Tie That Binds)

Light It Up: Fun With LEDs

Today, my bicoastal groom Stephen is on the scene, telling you how to light up your wedding day with simple, fun LEDs. Enjoy!

Most guys aren’t that into decorations, but a lot of us do love electronics. Find a way to combine the two, and you have a great way to trick, er…“entice” your future hubby to help make some really amazing decorations.

Light Emitting Diodes, aka LEDs, are energy-efficient and pretty easy to set up. A simple way to light up an LED is with a CR2032 battery, the flat disk batteries about the size of a nickel. To light an LED, sandwich the battery between the two LED wire leads so the longer wire touches the positive (+) side of the battery and the shorter wire touches the negative side (-). Use tape to hold the wires in place, and you’ve got yourself an LED building block to endless possibilities.

Combine a couple of the LEDs together with a rare earth magnet, and you get an LED throwie, as seen above. This allows you to latch LEDs onto metal surfaces and create some incredible designs. But one downside is that there is no on/off switch, plus a limited amount of battery power, so someone will need to assemble them no earlier than the night before your wedding, or even the day of. But it’ll definitely give the groomsmen something to do while you’re getting your hair done.

Want votive candles, but your reception site won’t allow an open flame? LED candles may be your answer. Besides, who wants a boring old red or yellow flame when you can have colors cycle through a variety of shades or set the LEDs to match your own color scheme?

Lastly, for the more avant-garde bride, there are LED bouquets. Since LEDs don’t put out much heat, you needn’t worry about burning your flowers. This would work best in a low-lit area, and might be difficult to see during an outdoor afternoon wedding.

All in all, LEDs are a great way to give your wedding a distinct look that is uniquely your own. Also, they can be so much fun to play with, your groom may not even realize he’s making wedding decorations.

Full step-by-step instructions for each of the abovementioned items are available at http://www.instructables.com/.

What types of lighting will you go with at your wedding? Any DIY lighting projects on the agenda?

(Photo and Video Credits: Instructables)

The Dress Quest: Fiancé’s Choice

No, I didn’t actually involve Stephen in helping choose my gown, since I’m excited to surprise him on the big day. But just for fun, after I had already chosen my dress, I set him loose on a couple websites to see if any of the styles he liked, or thought I would like, matched up with the gown I actually chose.

It turns out the styles he thought I would like – elegant, somewhat sleek, and with a long-but-not-outrageously-long train – were also the ones he found to be the most beautiful. Here, a couple of his choices.

Eager to know how he did? The big reveal is coming right up tomorrow! Did you involve your fiancé in choosing your gown?

(Photo Credits: Alfred Angelo)

A Groom With a View: Involving Your Fiancé

With wedding planning only getting more hectic as each month goes by, I feel so lucky that Stephen has always been very involved in the process – creating wine-cork escort-card holders, designing our wine-themed cake, coming up with ideas for our signature drink, and doing so many other things.

To change things up a bit this week, I decided to take a day off from blogging and instead let him share his tips for how to best involve grooms in the planning process. Enjoy!

When compared with the long list of preparation required for brides, the wedding day for a groom is relatively simple, and can be boiled down to three basic tasks: show up, say some lines, remember the ring, done.

Many grooms don’t really feel the need to get overly involved in planning a wedding because of the fact that our society places most of the emphasis on brides. Don’t believe me? Do a quick search on “wedding dress” in your search engine of choice, and compare the number of hits against “tuxedo.”

Give it another shot with “bride” and “groom,” and you’ll get similar results. (Plus, don’t forget that a good number of those “groom” hits involve combs and long-haired dachshunds). It may seem like an uphill battle to get your man to join in planning the wedding, but the real trick is playing to your groom’s strengths and interests.

For example, to me, you can call it orchid, violet, royal purple, or whatever you want, but when I look at it, all I see is purple. If your betrothed is like me, you shouldn’t expect too much help when you’re checking out floral arrangements, other than confused expressions and the occasional utterance of “uh…sure.”

Find tasks that match up with things your groom is good at. Does he love cars? If so, put him in charge of arranging transportation. I’m good at logistics, so I have the task of organizing the timetable for ensuring cars and drivers are available to ferry the wedding party every place they need to go.

Got a real handyman? Look for tasks that allow your guy to build and create items needed for the wedding and reception. From card boxes to trellises, there are lots of things that you can make on your own to save some money. Also, for those who are planning to hold the reception at a house or in a backyard, there are always home projects that can be done. Fixing up an old deck or building a fire pit can definitely spruce things up, and may even give you new options for your reception layout.

What about food and music? Plenty of guys have great taste in music, or at the very least have an opinion about what they don’t want played. When it comes to food, not all of us can be chefs, but you can send me to food and cake tastings all day and not hear any complaints out of me!

A muscle-car wedding chariot. Every groom’s dream come true.

However, I will warn those of you who want more involvement from your groom to be careful what you wish for. Your groom’s wedding ideas may not perfectly sync with your own. Personally, I would love to have a Ford GT supercar to drive off in after the wedding. But I’m not sure Heather would agree with the either the price tag or the fact that getting in and out of the car in her gown could be a nightmare.

There will surely be disagreements, but in every relationship, there must be compromise and understanding. I may not get the Ford GT, but at least I get to pick a tier of the wedding cake. Mmmm… lemon poppy! How are you involving your groom in planning the wedding?

(Photo Credits: 2009 Central Texas Dachshund Rescue Calendar & Ford)

Memory Box Groom’s Gift

If you read my earlier post about our budget breakdown, you may have noticed a couple things missing among the many “to buys” filling Stephen and I’s list – gifts for each other.

As unromantic as it may sound, he and I agreed right from the get-go, and especially once we realized how much we’d be increasing our budget, that the wedding day itself, along with our soon-to-follow Hawaiian honeymoon cruise, will be our only gifts to each other. And on top of that, we decided to forgo birthday and holiday gifts, instead putting the money saved right into our wedding fund.

Well, the secret’s out. I broke the rules – sort of. For Stephen’s birthday yesterday, I gave him a personal, romantic gift that didn’t cost me a penny, and that he said means more to him than anything I could possibly have bought.

What was it? A memory box revealing our history through random odds and ends collected during over three years of traveling, experiencing and exploring together. Ever since our very first date, I’ve saved small reminders of fun things we’ve done, hiding them away in a shoebox in my dresser until the right moment. Among the widely varied collection is a carryout bag from the restaurant we went to for our first dinner, several playbills from Broadway shows, brochures from wineries, theme parks and historical sites, plus keepsakes from our Central American cruise and a few assorted movie ticket stubs.

And since those last hurried days before the wedding are sure to be filled more with triple checking lists, packing, and squaring things away with vendors than they are with romantic reminiscing, I transferred the mementos into a pretty gift box we had on hand, attached a card, and left the box for Stephen to find when he got home from work on his birthday.

Like this idea, but haven’t been collecting since the early days? If your guy likes romantic surprises, creating a collection of mementos saved throughout your engagement could also be a sweet gift idea that won’t cost you more than the price of a nice box or scrapbook.

Are you and your groom exchanging gifts? What will you give him on or before the wedding day?

(Photo Credit: Heather Warren)

Wedding Ring Bling for the Groom?

My fiancé Stephen is by far the most easygoing and patient man I’ve ever met. Calm and organized, he knows what he wants and gets things done without a lot of stress or indecisiveness.

Picking out his wedding band was no exception. While we considered a few different ring styles with diamonds, etchings and engravings, my future husband ultimately chose a traditional 5 mm yellow gold ring in the style his father has always worn.

The ring is classic and timeless, suiting his style perfectly. I love its simplicity.

Here, several styles we considered…

And the winner…

What type of ring does your groom have his eye on?

(Photo Credits: Zales & Jared)

Tux Shopping: If Only It Were All This Easy

Oh, the quick and easy joy of picking out men’s clothes. Looking for wedding-related fun that wouldn’t turn into a major headache, Stephen and I headed out a few weeks ago to make tux selections for he and our wedding party.

Men’s Wearhouse didn’t disappoint. Within an hour, we had made our picks and were on our way. Plus, since we’ll have six groomsmen and both of our fathers renting their tuxes, Stephen’s rental is free. Super easy shopping, plus extra savings? Works for me!

In the spirit of keeping things short and sweet, here are examples of Stephen’s classic black and white tux, and our groomsmen’s black and lapis combo.

The boutonnières? Stephen’s will include purple lisianthus and white stephanotis, while the guys will wear only purple lisianthus.

 

                                   

What are your picks for the groom and groomsmen?

(Photo Credits: Men’s Wearhouse & FTD)