Vow Renewals: How Soon Is Too Soon?

One Friday night not so long ago, while I was getting my weekly “Say Yes To the Dress” fix, I watched wide-eyed as the show featured the story of a bride and groom renewing their vows after just one year of marriage.

True, a lot of celebrities now do this as well, complete with guest lists, ceremonies, receptions, and enough hoopla to rival the couple’s first wedding. But I’m not sure whether planning another extravagant celebration in our honor just one year after the first would feel appropriate to me.

Granted, the couple on “Say Yes” planned to have a private ceremony on the beach, and the gown may have been the only large purchase they made for the day. But even so, shopping for another wedding dress so soon after buying the first seems pretty over-the-top.

Now, that’s not to say that I don’t hope to plan a vow renewal someday. I do. It’s the “when” and the “how” I’m not so sure about right now (although a beach in Hawaii may have to be part of the mix).

One thing I am sure about, though, is that on June 4, 2011, I plan to be kicking back on an Alaskan cruise. And instead of spending the next year planning another wedding for myself, I’d rather pour my passion into helping other brides make their dreams come true.

What are your thoughts about vow renewals? Do you plan to do it someday? If so, how many years do you think you'll wait, and what type of ceremony do you envision?

(Photo Credits: Alex Neumann Photography)

Getting Ready: The Calm Before The Storm

The morning of our wedding started off quietly and slowly, with my mom, sister and I heading to one of my bridesmaids’ homes to start getting all dolled up for the special moments to come.

As we entered the quiet house along with our hair and makeup stylists, I relished the serenity of the day, but felt eager for the hustle and bustle I knew would soon follow. After all, this was my wedding day, and every moment was supposed to feel action-packed and fun, right?

But since a few bridesmaids had gone to a separate salon, things remained calm and relatively peaceful for quite a while. My mom made a Starbucks run, as stylist Jana and her daughter worked away. Stephen’s sisters joined us, patiently awaiting their turns in the makeup chair. My phone on my lap, I found time to blog and send off a few fun “wedding day” messages.

But sure enough, as the morning wore on, the house started to fill up, both with people and things. My future mother-in-law brought us lunch, leftover from our rehearsal dinner the night before. Future father-in-law? He also stopped by, kindly heading to Jamba Juice to grab our favorites. The rest of the girls arrived, and there was excited chatter, plus hugs all around.

As the kitchen table became strewn with plates, boxes of crackers, and empty plastic cups, one or two of the girls’ boyfriends even popped in and out of the picture, while photographer Damien steadily snapped away, alongside his assistant Nicole. Photo equipment filled the living room, as my gown hung happily in the window, where it could finally have its day in the sun.

Things were calm yet crazy, and quiet yet joyously loud. It was the perfect combination.

LESSON LEARNED: Before your wedding day, think about exactly what type of “getting ready” experience you’d like, as this can set the tone for how you feel going into the entire day – nervous, excited, calm, and so on. Do you envision a boisterous morning to get you pumped up? A calm, relaxing moment shared with just your sister and mom? A mix of both, like me? Let your personality be your guide. Plus, when choosing a location, be sure to pick a spot that is large enough to comfortably accommodate however many people will be there. A place that will lend a great backdrop for photos doesn’t hurt, either.

Where do you or did you plan to get ready on your wedding day? Do you prefer to be surrounded by a large group, or to keep things small?

(Photo Credits: Personal Library & Damien Smith Photography)

Wedding Day Countdown Revisited: Top 10 Moments (Part Two)

Here, the conclusion of my top 10 recap, in which I’m revealing each anticipated moment the way I first imagined it, and then the way it turned out in real life!

#6 -- Exchanging a kiss and leading the recessional, after we’re at last pronounced husband and wife

I felt so much joy in these brief moments, even though our priest made a couple last-minute mistakes and I had to lead the recessional without my bouquet.

#7 -- Our first dance, the result of many lessons, lots of hard work, and our truly working together as a team

Without a doubt, this was one of my favorite moments! Though my heavy and long gown did throw us off just slightly, we made it through our entire routine to resounding cheers and applause from our guests. It was so much fun!

#8 -- Watching the amazing slideshows my bridesmaids have lovingly created through hours of dedication

I may have had tears in my eyes while walking down the aisle, but I was fully crying by the time my bridesmaid Pooneh’s slideshow was finished. Her perfect fusion of pictures and songs meant the world to me.

#9 -- Dancing the night away with friends and loved ones I haven’t seen in ages

Fun, fun, fun! We really made the most of our dance time!

#10 -- Sneaking off with Stephen for a private walk where we’ll reflect upon all that the day has meant and how our lives have forever changed

While we didn’t have a chance to take a walk entirely by ourselves, we did spend a few minutes alone in the bride’s room at the reception site during cocktail hour. We’d originally planned to join our guests, but after the frantic pace of taking photos out in the hot sun, and the emotional nature of the ceremony, we both needed just a few minutes to unwind. Plus, during our sunset photo shoot, our photographers took a step back, giving us our “moment.”

Do you or did you hope to steal a private moment with your husband during the reception?

(Photo Credits: Alex Neumann Photography)

Wedding Day Countdown Revisited: Top 10 Moments (Part One)

Back when I still had 100 days to go until my walk down the aisle, I shared the 10 special wedding day moments I was most looking forward to. How did they shape up now that all is said and done? Read on!

#1 -- Finally stepping into the gown of my dreams, with my mom and sister right there beside me to share the moment

Looking back, things got a little rushed as the time suddenly started to slip away more and more quickly that afternoon, but the anticipation and build-up alone made this such an exciting moment.

#2 -- Glancing in the mirror and seeing myself as a “bride” for the first time.

Honestly, I don’t even remember my first glance in the mirror, though I’m sure I must have looked! After slipping into the dress, I was way too excited and eager to join my bridesmaids, who had all gathered in the next room. The girls made it even more fun by cheering and clapping as I made my entrance!

#3 -- Our private “first look,” shared only with each other, our photographer, and our videographer

I loved our “first look,” though it didn’t feel as private as I’d hoped, since I really couldn’t shut out the presence of the photographer and videographer. Plus, I could sense our wedding party watching us through the tinted windows of the room where they stood waiting! Still, it was a beautiful moment that helped both Stephen and I feel much more relaxed.

#4 -- Joining the rest of the wedding party to take pre-ceremony photos and video footage at the beautiful Gardens of the World

This site was truly incredible, and though we were only there about half an hour, some of my favorite pictures from the day came out of this shoot. The entire wedding party had a blast thanks to Alex, our fun and hilarious photographer.

#5 -- Walking down the aisle to the processional tune from The Sound of Music, with my mom and dad at my side

This was the most surreal moment of the day for me, and one of the few moments when I actually had tears in my eyes. And guess what? I don’t remember hearing the song at all! I recall hearing music playing in the background, but for all I know, the pianist could have been pounding out “Yankee Doodle” or something equally silly. This is one experience I can’t wait to watch back on video!

Married ladies, did your most-anticipated moments work out the way you’d planned? Engaged girls, which big day experiences are you most looking forward to?

(Photo Credits: Damien Smith Photography & Alex Neumann Photography)

Supporting Each Other

When I first watched the fabulous wedding video below, I was blown away by how fun and imaginitive it was. I loved everything about it, and felt it truly captured the couple’s wedding in a style that was original and unique.

But after I saw and read about some of the disgusting, hateful comments being thrown this bride’s way, I simply wanted to cry.

As brides, as women, and as people, we are all different, with our own personalities, values and visions, both in life and when it comes to our wedding days. No two brides or weddings are alike, and that’s what I so love about these celebrations – the creativity and embracing of difference that they inspire.


Lauren + JP from Matt Odom on Vimeo.

I started blogging and sharing my story to support and encourage others, and with the hope I’d get the same in return. Fortunately, I have, and the camaraderie I’ve discovered in the community of bloggers has been nothing short of amazing.

That’s what we each deserve, and whether we agree or disagree about any number of topics, we should still respect and believe in one another. While I’m sure there’s someone out there who would love to cut down my wedding or my looks, all that matters is that I felt beautiful and happy on my day. Most importantly, our wedding reflected me as a person – with all my flaws and attributes on display.

Lauren, though I don’t know you and you’ll probably never read this, I hope you know that you and your wedding were absolutely beautiful. No one has the right to use hatred and ignorance to take away from the joy and excitement you felt.

I support you, as I do all the brides I have the honor of knowing, whether here online or in my day-to-day life. I’m here to share joy and build people up, not cut them down. We’re each beautifully unique people, and that's something to celebrate. Cruelty and ugliness have no place here.

(Video Credit: Matt Odom)